View Full Version : Decision or no?
Okay, I have a girlfriend of alomst a year and I love her, I really do.
Now here it comes...
But there's also someone I met in a theatre class last semester and she's fun to hang out with. I've developed an infatuation for her. there is constant flirting (that's the kind of guy I am) and I think she might like me. I know she doesn't know I have a girlfriend, because I haven't told her. I really don't want to hurt her feelings and lose a freind, but I feel I've alrwady betrayed my girlfriend. The worst is this girl has a similar major so we will see each other for the next 3 years.
Do I do anything about it, or do I try to let things work themselves out?
wow thats a tough one
is it to the point where you are thinking about breaking up with your girlfriend over it?
or just looking for a way to break it to this other girl?
if you really love your girlfreind, then there is no question here, you gotta tell this freind, and if she has issues with it, then so sorry
Yeah, but being that "steady/influential" thing, I'm not a big fan of confrontation. I'm not sure what I'm wanting to do. I highly doubt I would break up with her.
Here is two things that could happen
1. You break up with your gf because you like this other girl
2. WHen you ask the other girl on a date, she respectfully declines to the fact that she has a bf and thought you were nice and talking with you.
And now, you are single again because you thought something could happen with the other girl. All because of what, an infatuation?
Sum_Gurl
02-12-04, 11:44 PM
Facts first. So, you don't wanna lose your girlfriend, right? You just feel guilty about leading on this flirting partner?
The next time your talking to this girl you could just casually mention your GF like "My GF and I saw a good movie yesterday..." She may assume you just started dating her. If she digs you for info on your girl just be as vauge as possible. "How long have we been dating? I dunno a while I guess, not that long." Or you could go with the truth but thats not nearly as entertaining.
nevermind...
i can only fix computers
Sum_Gurl
02-13-04, 12:32 AM
Whoa...people can be in relationships and not be having sex. I don't think that should have any baring on if that makes a person qualify as a "girlfriend". Actually its a very responsible descion if you aren't ready to deal with the consequenses.
peachykeen625
02-13-04, 12:45 AM
I agree with sum_girl...being in a relationship and being in a relationship w/ sex are two completely polar opposites. But...shwaa...I would highly advice you to stay with what you have. If things don't work out your screwed (not literally). But if you stay with your current "partner" and things don't work out...you always have something to fall back on. Make sure you keep the new "flirt buddy" as a friend. Just in case. It sounds bad...yes...but its always a good idea to have a back up plan...am I right or am I right? Think about it buddy. Your heart will tell you what to do!
burnitall
02-13-04, 01:06 AM
this all sounds rather familiar to handsompetes post before x-mas. I say do what your hart says and let everyone know what that is so that there is no misunderstandings.
hot_rodd2000
02-13-04, 02:06 AM
I am holding the sign and wondering how you can be in a long term relationship and not be having sex. Part of having a relationship is having relations with your significant other. And just because you have relations doe not mean that your in a relationship, it is a double edged sword.
adventuredude
02-13-04, 02:20 AM
Originally posted by hot_rodd2000:
I am holding the sign and wondering how you can be in a long term relationship and not be having sex. Part of having a relationship is having relations with your significant other. And just because you have relations doe not mean that your in a relationship, it is a double edged sword.Yup. And we're cutting each other up in bits.
hmm, i have come out unscathed so far
Sum_Gurl
02-13-04, 01:28 PM
What about those who don't have sex until marriage? Up until the point of saying their vows they are in a sexless relationship.
LkAy015
02-13-04, 01:45 PM
Originally posted by hot_rodd2000:
I am holding the sign and wondering how you can be in a long term relationship and not be having sex. Part of having a relationship is having relations with your significant other. And just because you have relations doe not mean that your in a relationship, it is a double edged sword.There is nothing wrong with a sexless relationship. In fact those can be the strongest ones.
HandsomPete
02-13-04, 09:01 PM
originally posted by Burnitall:
this all sounds rather familiar to handsompetes post before x-mas. I say do what your hart says and let everyone know what that is so that there is no misunderstandings.
Yeah, I'd rather not get into that...
but you're trying to figure out what you want and what you are capable of with others and what you considerable acceptable behavior. I highly advise that you bring up the fact that you have a g/f with your flirtateous other woman. She may not care, may have a b/f herself, may be turned off completely if she is actually interested in you or you may end up with two people you care about not just one.
These things happen. That'll be $8... to quote the simpsons
deviance99
02-14-04, 12:32 AM
Originally posted by LkAy015:
There is nothing wrong with a sexless relationship. In fact those can be the strongest ones.I disagree with that generality... :)
I know plenty of people who are in happy, long-term relationships that involve sex...
Sum_Gurl
02-14-04, 12:43 AM
I think what she ment was that a sexless relationship can be just as valid and meaningful.
you said you had an infatuation with this girl.. so obviously you do not love your gf because if u did you would not be leading another girl on.. and would not of thought about hiding the fact that you have a gf....
be a man and tell this girl the truth.. or tell your gf what u have been doing.. playing the 2 will only lead u to being burned on both sides...
love and infatuation are two completely different things. maybe I played this up too much. oh well...
Cristina
02-17-04, 07:31 PM
i would agree with whoever said to casually bring up that "you and ur gf saw this awsome movie..." or whatever and you can still be friends with this girl. You dont wanna hurt ur g/f or urself in this matter by confusing urself even more. stress that you dont need!!
well, if she is your friend, then it would be hard to hurt her feelings cause girls tend to keep people as friends or more than friends, not both
girls are weird they always seem interested when you're having a good time together
I agree with everyone else, lay it out subtle to test the waters, you don't want to mess what you've got if something doesn't work out
Sum_Gurl
02-18-04, 12:46 AM
Originally posted by OSaraO:
you said you had an infatuation with this girl.. so obviously you do not love your gf because if u did you would not be leading another girl on.. and would not of thought about hiding the fact that you have a gf....
be a man and tell this girl the truth.. or tell your gf what u have been doing.. playing the 2 will only lead u to being burned on both sides...See, I don't think you can make a generalization like that acuratly. People do some s***** things to those they love and it doesn't always mean they don't really love that person. It just means they are a s***** person, at least in this respect. I'm not really referring to the situation at hand, just in general.
:D
i'd see if theyre up for a 3-way.
that's a perfect solution. Considering neither my girlfriend nor I have ever had sex, I'm sure that'll be the way she wants to lose it.
Dump your current g/f if ur having these thoughts bud. To me, the new girl sounds like a better catch and a more stable girl since you guys seem to be heading down the right track and you get along pretty well. I feel sorry for your current g/f but stuff happens like this in college. People meet people and they go with new people and its usually for the better. Don't let your guilt get the better of you and stay with your current g/f because of it. I would go after the new girl and see how it goes. If it goes well, then sweet. If not, then no big deal, just move on and find someone else. Deffiently don't look at this kind of stuff as a day by day routine. Just go with the flow.
I suppose it all depends on how much you care for your girfriend, and how strong you think the relationship with this other girl could be, I mean, I'm more of a long term type of guy looking for serious relationships, so I guess that I'd stik with what you got if you actually ove her, but if you don't, and are just saying that, then maybe it's time to move on. I don't know, just thought I'd throw that out there.
Originally posted by Shwaa:
that's a perfect solution. Considering neither my girlfriend nor I have ever had sex, I'm sure that'll be the way she wants to lose it.ice breaker.
and one more thing... lose it? why do you have such a down look on it? its a special thing, believe it or not.
and i was clearly being sarcastic, so dont take things so seriously.
fairydust1818
02-19-04, 03:58 PM
So you just want to know how to tell your friend that you're just friends? You don't want to dump your girlfriend and go after this other girl, do you? If this friend is really a friend, then she'd understand when you tell her that you have a girlfriend and just want to be friends with her. Does your girlfriend know about this friend that you have in class? If she's the insecure or jealous type, it might be a good idea to let her know that your friend is just a friend and that you've let this friend know that she's just a friend. I know that I'd be worried if I had a boyfriend and he was flirting with a friend in a class without letting her know that he had a girlfriend.
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